Wedding Psychology

In preparation for a seminar I will be giving at Hogarths Hotel in Solihull next month on the subject of 'the psychology of weddings' I have been doing a bit of research. I was astounded to read that one in ten brides suffer from 'post nuptial depression' and this is a figure which is on the increase. Understandably planning your wedding is a really big deal (regardless of whether or not you have a wedding planner to assist you) however, it is very worrying that so many women let planning their 'big day' become so all-consuming that their lives actually appear to stop the day after.



It is no surprise perhaps that after months (or even years) of preparation when almost every waking hour seems to be filled with thoughts about the wedding day, many women will feel at a bit of a loss after it is all over. But, once the thank you letters are written, the photos are safely in their album and the video is played and re-played, it really is time to move on.



It is very important that you don't allow your wedding plans to take over your life. Of course trying on dresses, choosing stationery, selecting menus, booking entertainment etc is fun but always remember why you doing this. Your wedding is a single event which will mark the beginning of a whole new life and really it is that new life which you should be focusing on.



There are several things you can do to keep everything in perspective. Firstly get organised - keep everything filed in one place and make diary notes of when things have to be done by. Keep at least one night each week free when you and your partner do something together and ban any mention of the word 'wedding' or anything related to it. Better still, if you can, try to restrict your wedding discussions to one night only each week. Try to avoid spending every lunchtime surfing the wedding websites on the net, set aside one day of the weekend to do your shopping and surfing. Write down what you are looking for and only look for that - otherwise you will get so sidetracked that before you know it you will have spent the whole weekend staring at your computer... not much fun for your partner, friends or family.



And of course, consider hiring a wedding planner to help you - let them do all the boring leg work for you so you simply have to make the decisions - which, after all, is the fun bit! This will free you up to concentrate on what is far more important and challenging: planning for your new life together.